" You can not motivate a frustrated mind "
-My Roomie's Entrepreneurship Notes
I wake up in the morning to find another monotonous day awaiting me. It's the same things I'll be doing today again as I had done yesterday. This stupid life is progressing with a snail's pace with a hue of lacklustre charm and no zing attached to it. The best way to describe my composure as of now would be , frustrated individual. It seems that I am frustrated with every thing around me. I am frustrated at my unexpected outbursts and random mood swings. I am frustrated at my outdated B.Tech curriculum and the mindless teaching attitude of the professors. I am frustrated at my physique, which is often a constant pet peeve against me, that never seems to metamorphose into something preferrable. I am frustrated at my introvertive nature and inability to enjoy and party with others. I am frustrated at the constant gender discriminations at various places that tends to suit either classes depending on the situation. I am extremely fed up with flooding of the saas-bahu soaps and the extra-marital gossips that seem to have become the cynosure of the TV and print media. I am frustrated about the way the Indian cricket and hockey team are playing these days and their inability to perform in crunch pressure games. I am frustrated at the way my superstar Sachin is handling his innings in recent years and at the way the media and the fans have been handling him. I am frustrated at the movies that are being churned out by the Punjab da Puttar , Sunny Deol and his frustrating role selections. I am frustrated at Man U's disappointing finish in the EPL and Champions League. I am frustrated by the way the politicians are looting the nation by conning the common man and I am more frustrated at the way the common man is allowing himself to be conned by acting innocent to all their illegal mannerisms. I am frustrated by the way how Celebrities are losing their dignity by stooping to lower grounds and how the media is making easy money by destroying their personal lives. I am frustrated at the way how channels like IndiaTV have betrayed the purpose of journalism and news making. I am fed up with the news stories that make headlines in the media which are filled with nothing but murder, corruption, rape, deaths, breakups and plain gossips. I am frustrated of losing cricket, Table Tennis and pc game clashes because of stupid errors I commit. I am equally frustrated at being labelled the tag of " Winners at home, Losers outside" in the various quiz competitions owing to my bad away results. I am frustrated with the shroud of bad luck covering me for eternality. I am frustrated at being blamed for every mistake I didn't commit intentionaly. I am frustrated at the way my life is shaping up in entirely unexpected terms with my search for my purpose in life heading towards nowhere. I am frustrated at being so much shy of the other sex. I am frustrated at losing all my adventurous might and courage when it comes to either expressing my love to my sweetheart or conveying my liking to any girl. I am frustrated at always curbing myself from doing things that would really convey the person I am and not the way I am interpreted as.
And with frustration all around me, I have started feeling confused... confused at the very thought of how my future plans would materialise? I am confused about whether a programmer like me who harboured dreams of having his own game development firm, would end up as common software consultant like the million others already working it out like horses only to get lost in the depths of oblivion. Or would I make a mark for myself and stand out amongst the crowd that would make my family, friends and countrymen proud of me. I am confused as to whether whatever I am doing is right or not and what consequences would it bear for me in the future. I am confused as to what everyone around me wants of me; while a bunch of them hail me as their inspiration, the rest of the pack doubt each of my skills and are eager to point out flaws in every deed of mine. I am confused as to whether the values that have been embedded in me since my childhood have really lost their value and hence should I join the others in their race for inconsequential glory by hook or crook. I am even confused at the antics of "My Friend up there" as the negatives seem to be holding an upper hand over the positives in this world thus harming the eternal balance. I am confused as to why every other thing in this world frustrates me and makes me confused. I am fed up with waiting with patience for time to heal my pains while I am bleeding like anything.
Is it just me who's through all of these or are my sufferings just an image of the way life goes on around this part of the ecosystem. May be I might be overreacting to everything that has happened to me till now and may be my mind doesn't want to take any more of this. But why am I breaking down after just 21 years of imprisonment in this mortal body while the whole world has much more horrible, painful and grotesque incidents to talk about. Its the problem with all of us who just lose their present languishing over their sufferings in the past. Most of this post was written by me on one of those not so pleasant mornings when I was highly upset over something and that made my frustrated alter ego to surface. But when I look back at that time now, I rue having wasted a part of my life gaining nothing. At this point what a frustrated mind can confess is that it is very easy to get frustrated and we cant of course stop that but to succumb to our frustration is another thing. Once we succumb to our frustrations we are dead much before our death because we lose the zeal to survive and fight. So instead make frustration an occasional incident rather than a contagious habit and fight off this monster before it grapples you into a state of remorse helplessness.
N.B. - The title for this post has been inspired from George Clooney's Hollywood flick Confessions Of a Dangerous Mind. I am actually posting this article much after I had written it.
